Sep 28, 2006

Heart says so ....new begining





















Last few weeks have been a bit lazy also busy at the same time. Lazy because I really did nothing much ..otherthan routine hospital work . Busy because I still dint have enough time to post in my blog , check my mail or orkut ( which is blocked anyways in our hospital server for long time now !!!! ) or did nt do lot of other things which have to be done before I get my relieving order from here… yes … after having made up my mind to go with what my heart says , I finally put my resignation papers . And now all set to go from here (Yet to clean up my chamber, cup boards, and throw away some things, give away some things, ...) , I ve been busy making a list of things to do before leaving …..people whom I want to meet and say Bye …. Things to be sorted out …etc etc etc …..

It s tough leaving a place where you feel at home and feel comfortable. More over, after growing up in a small village and town , and staying in manipal for last few years which is also a very beautiful place to live in , the feeling of shifting to a city like Bangalore, which I feel is overcrowded , and a concrete jungle in most of the parts is not very exciting to me . And the traffic sucks there.

Humhhhh… where will I get to hear birds when I get up in the morning …what will happen to my cute cats waiting for me to get up in the morning and also my returning in the evening to feed them …. How often can I go Home to see my parents and cousins …. Will I ever be confident to take my activa on Bangalore roads ….? Am I doing a mistake by quitting and going for a lesser salary? How will be my new place? I ll miss going home on weekends , my hospital , my professors , colleagues , friends and patients there ….. and my laptop which I have to return tomorrow .. .. What will happen to my blog ? Will I ever post again ? ….Right now my brain is overfilled with questions and doubts on everything…. Where will I be staying in Bangalore ? I have some dislikes towards houses which don’t have trees around.. especially atleast few coconut trees around ….without gardens , well, some pets …. ( May be because at home , we have so many trees, coconut, mango , papaya , sapota … guava, cashew etc , plus 4 wells , 5 dogs, n number of cats , few cows , my mother s garden full of flowering plants …at times some wild animals and birds too …. ) Will I get a peaceful surrounding atleatst to sleep whenever I want to …. ???? Time will answer all of them , soon .

Anyways, otherthan anything, I strongly dislike traffic and extreme cold in winters… ooofffff…. I cant move during winters there . So I staying somewhere near to my hospital in Bangalore should solve the traffic problem to some extent …( still unlike Manipal , reaching hospital in 4 and a half minutes is impossible I guess …. Will have to sacrifice my sleep *@#* … ) …and as far as cold weather is concerned ..I have no idea what I can do other than waiting for summer ..... Why do I have such strong likes or dislikes towards few things ……… Wish I was more adaptive and just adjust … Or may be not adaptive at all and just reject what I don’t want to do and come out of it …( I remember Ajeya s recent post on human nature of adapting for the sake of it . It just is nt our true nature I feel … ) .

However , as it s too early to break my head all those aspects , I m enjoying last few days here….attending farewell parties ,outings with friends etc….. Will miss lot of things , but I m trying to accept that I have to go . I m learning to get ready to face the unknown. Changes are inevitable, good or bad. Hope for better is what excites me to take this new road. Faith in myself is what tells me to go ahead. Rest is not in my hand ( I believe in destiny ……which is beyond human attempts ) As I said earlier , time will answer.

The funniest part of this whole post is , at the end of it I m finding this whole post silly. The thoughts which come across the mind are millions, and only few hundred thoughts are remembered after they fade . And after typing so much, I just don’t want to delete these thoughts. I m really lazy to edit them again ….. I don’t know what you could perceive out of it … To take life as it comes is what I want to do ……That s it …simple… is nt it ???

16 Comments:

Blogger Harsha said...

All the best is all I can say.... Trust me, you'll need it here :D

Enjoy maadi :)

3:30 PM  
Blogger reborn said...

@harsha

Thanks ... I need it ... :)

9:38 PM  
Blogger Harish said...

You have got guts gal.....
I wish I could have that much courage....and do something I LIKE.
The only trouble is that one doesnt get easily paid for reading books, seeing movies or talking to people :-)
All the best :-)

10:20 PM  
Blogger venu said...

most of us find it difficult to move out of our place, but for your long list of queries, you would find answer when you move to another destination. And at the end, we think we are gaining something, evenwhen we lose some precious things

4:15 PM  
Blogger reborn said...

@ harish

Haha..not really harish .. I have lot of insecurities and inhibitions .... but yes... I like to explore..
And ofcourse I like my work . But more than this , I would love to have a farm of my own and do farming !!!! My dream .. :)

I think VJ s and RJ ss do get paid for talking ....:)

6:18 PM  
Blogger reborn said...

@venu

Thanks :) As long as we enjoy our work , things dont matter .. I hope for the best ...:)

11:39 PM  
Blogger AJEYA RAO said...

I had some similar thoughts while stepping out of Mangalore 5 years back. But I was also excited. Because going to new places, living new experiences always excited me. So I am sure you shall enjoy it here atleast for few years.
Me and my friends always talk about going back to Mangalore, if we had a good opports there.

1:04 AM  
Blogger reborn said...

@ajeya

Exactly ..I feel I ll like this change..and I already have plans to come back after few years !!!

4:23 PM  
Blogger Harsha said...

You need to post. Need some updates :)

1:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All the best for your new job!!
I am sure you will enjoy your new job and new place. Though B'lore is crowded, it has its own charm.
Be back soon on blogsville :)

6:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for visiting my blog. Hope to see you around. :)

6:08 AM  
Blogger Shankari said...

Hi! And welcome to Bangalore!

Do get in touch (by mail) whenever you feel like just talking...

I'm here

:)

2:17 AM  
Blogger reborn said...

@harsha

:) yes... i want to ...but poor me has no access nowadays ... but sometimes soon ..will definately post

@kk

thanks kk ...:) and i am liking my new job ..:)

@shankari

:) hey thank you very much ..will mail you soon sometime ..

3:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Glad to know that you like your new job :)

8:54 AM  
Blogger AJEYA RAO said...

Lost In Bangalore?

12:30 AM  
Blogger reborn said...

@kk

yes... I like it ..:) thank god ..otherwise i d go mad !!

@ajeya

:)not lost ..but absolutely no net access ..will get back soon ..

11:10 PM  

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